We have been married for over four years and I have been dodging this question ever since we walked down the aisle. I’m so overly sick of hearing it. I believe that many people are just asking as a way to make small talk and are completely harmless. Others however, no matter how they try to wrap it up nice and pretty just want to insert their unsolicited opinion as to the appropriate time for us to completely change our life and family dynamic. No matter how hard I try my response is always cold and blanketed with a fake smile. It’s like they’re asking me to divulge all my life issues and lay it all out so that someone else can determine if we’re ready. The most popular phrase seems to be “if you wait until you’re ready, you’ll never have them.” I guess I just don’t understand when we digressed enough to still believe that everyone fits into the same box. It’s like assuming that the same timeline works for everyone’s life.
Please adhere to the following guidelines:
18: Graduate high school and get into a prestigious college
22: Graduate at the top of your class and get the perfect job
23: Find a suitable man to marry
25: Quit your perfect job to have babies and stay home for the rest of your life.
I realize that I am 100% exaggerating and taking things to the extreme, but I have a point to make here.
We want children. We really do and I respect mothers so much. I even believe that they deserve more respect and appreciation than we could ever possibly hope to give. I honestly hope that I can be a wonderful mom someday. I have dreams of our life as a family; the things we will do, the places we will go and the decisions we will make. I even have names picked out and have nursery themes in mind. I love photography of children and I imagine what our kids will look like, smell like, be like…
Don’t get me wrong on a few things here…
1. If it happened, we would be fine. We would make necessary changes and adapt just like all surprise pregnancies before us.
2. Children born in less than perfect circumstances can still have amazing parents. I’m not saying that if your baby was born without ample planning and you haven’t got all your ducks in a row, you’re not suitable. I’m not saying that at all.
I just think that the responsible thing to do is put yourself in the best possible situation to not only have a baby, but actually raise a child. I take parenting really seriously and when that time is right for us, I know that Sean and I will embrace our roles with all we have. Until then please just accept my answer as someday.